Nine Things Successful People Do Differently

Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D  HBRBLOG.org

Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren't sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.
1. Get specific. When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. "Lose 5 pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight," because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you'll "eat less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and precise. "I'll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights" leaves no room for doubt about what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done it.

2. Seize the moment to act on your goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it's not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.
To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., "If it's Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I'll work out for 30 minutes before work.") Studies show that this kind of planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.
3. Know exactly how far you have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don't know how well you are doing, you can't adjust your behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.

4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do, don't underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.

5. Focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won't improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.
Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National Spelling Bee.
The good news is, if you aren't particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often than not believe that they just don't have the innate abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking .... well, there's no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.
7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control "muscle" is just like the other muscles in your body — when it doesn't get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.
To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don't. Start with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur ("If I have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.") It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.
8. Don't tempt fate. No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it's important to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don't try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don't put yourself in harm's way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already is.

9. Focus on what you will do, not what you won't do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., "Don't think about white bears!") has shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
If you want change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like "If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down." By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.
It is my hope that, after reading about the nine things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don't need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It's never what you are, but what you do.

8 Things You Should Never Say to Customers

By Jeff Haden | September 13, 2011  bnet.com

Great customer relationships: Hard to establish, easy to ruin — especially when you say the wrong things. Here are eight things you should never say to customers (even if you would secretly love to):

1. “No.” A boss once told me, “Never tell a customer no. Always say, ‘Yes, we can. Here’s what that will cost.’” If you absolutely can’t provide a certain product or service, you can’t, but often you can’t simply because you don’t want to. (In the example above I didn’t want to. What the customer had asked for was certainly possible but would have been a real pain to pull off.) Price unusual requests accordingly: If you can make a decent profit, why not? Making a profit is why you’re in business.
2. “Are you sure?” Customers are often wrong. Too bad. Never directly doubt their statements or their feelings; all you’ll do is make an already bad situation a lot worse. Instead ask questions or seek to better understand. Saying something like, “Can you walk me through that one more time so I can make sure I can take care of what went wrong?” validates the customer’s position while helping you keep the conversation objective and solution-focused.
3. “What you should do is…” Don’t tell me what to do. Help me. That’s why I came to you.
4. “That’s against our policy.” Maybe it is against your policy… but if the customer wasn’t aware of the policy ahead of time, who cares? Any terms or conditions not spelled out in advance are irrelevant to the customer. Imagine you’re a customer who finds out after the fact that special order items can’t be returned — how would you feel? Refer to policies or conditions when the customer was fully aware of and agreed to those conditions; otherwise, find a way to fix the problem. Unstated policies are your problem, not the customer’s.
5. “No problem.” Maybe this is just a pet peeve, but I’m always irritated when, say, I ask a waiter for dressing on the side and he says, “No problem.” I know he means “yes,” but “no problem” still implies I really am causing a problem. When I’m the customer, I’m favoring your business with my patronage; your business isn’t doing me any favors, so never imply you are. Replace “no problem” with “yes.”
6. “Let me try to do that…” Customers care about results, not effort. Tell me what you will do. “Trying” creates greater uncertainty, and uncertainty is the kiss of death to a customer relationship. If a client requests an accelerated delivery, say, “I’ll call our distributor and get the best schedule possible.” All you can do is all you can do. Don’t imply you’re working extra hard on my behalf by “trying.”
7. “Let me know if you have any other problems.” If a customer comes to you with a problem and you think you’ve resolved that problem, great. But don’t expect the customer to contact you if other issues pop up; follow up a couple days later to make sure all is still well. Solving a customer’s problem meets expectations; following up to see if they need further assistance shows you care.
8. “I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” Maybe you will… but in the meantime the customer is left wondering what “soon” means. Always specify a time. If, when that time comes, you still don’t have all the information you need, contact the customer and say so — and say when you’ll follow up again. Customer relationships are based on managing expectations; “as soon as I can” sounds good but fails to set an expectation the customer can count on.

Brainstorming Done Right

How to Increase Output
Is someone on your team having trouble producing output? Ed Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics, explains how to change that by managing resources effectively.  Follow the link below:
Brainstorming Done Right

Never Ask 'Does That Make Sense?'

September 14, 2011  by Jerry Weissman    Blogs.HBR.org|

Just as a chef is attuned to the subtleties of flavor and trends in the culinary arts, a presentation coach is attuned to the subtleties of language and trends in the communication art. One trend I've noted recently is the expression, "Does that make sense?" often used by a speaker during a conversation — or a presenter during a presentation — to check whether the listener or audience has understood or appreciated what the speaker has just said. Unfortunately, the expression has two negative implications:
• Uncertainty on the part of the speaker about the accuracy or credibility of the content
• Doubt about the ability of the audience to comprehend or appreciate the content.
"Does that make sense?" has become so pervasive, it joins the ranks of fillers, empty words that surround and diminish meaningful words, just as weeds diminish the beauty of roses in a garden. Most speakers are unaware that they are using fillers, and most audiences don't bother to think of their implications. The phrase has attained the frequency — and meaninglessness of:
• "You know..." as if to be sure the listener is paying attention
• "Like I said..." as if to say that the listener didn't understand
• "Again..." as if to say that the listener didn't get it the first time
• "I mean..." as if to say that the speaker is unsure of his/her own clarity
• "To be honest..." as if to say the speaker was not truthful earlier
• "I'm like..." the universal filler which says absolutely nothing
Responsible speakers or presenters, in their well-intentioned effort to satisfy their audience, have every right to check whether their material is getting through. However, instead of casting negativity on the content or the audience, all a speaker has to say is:
"Do you have any questions?"
While all of the preceding cast doubt on the competence of the presenter or the audience, another group of phrases and words casts doubt on the content itself:
• "Sort of"
• "Pretty much"
• "Kind of"
• "Basically"
• "Really"
• "Actually"
• "Anyway"
These, too, have taken on the frequency of fillers. Sometimes these words can have a purpose. Writer Maud Newton recently analyzed the late David Foster Wallace's predilection for "qualifiers like 'sort of' and 'pretty much.'" She deemed it a "subtle rhetorical strategy" to make a critical point and defuse it with irony. As a prime example, she cited the title of one of Wallace's collected essays: "Certainly the End of Something or Other, One Would Sort of Have to Think."
Presenters do not have the luxury of indulging in irony or — with all due respect — the literary talent to engage in such artful wordplay. Qualifying words lessen the importance and the value of the nouns and verbs they accompany. Those nouns and verbs represent the products, services, and actions of the business — the family jewels — that the presenter is pitching, and a presenter should not diminish their worth. Parents do not describe their children as "sort of cute."
Instead, follow the advice of the Strunk and White classic, The Elements of Style: "Use definite, specific, concrete language." To accomplish this you must diligently delete meaningless words and phrases from your speech, a task easier said than done due to their pervasiveness. One way to kick the habit is to capture the narrative of your next presentation with the voice record function on your smart phone, then play it back post mortem and listen to your own speaking pattern. (You're in for a surprise in more ways than one.) You will have to repeat this process several times before you start correcting yourself, but do it you must.

8 Reasons Your Employees Don’t Care

By Jeff Haden | September 6, 2011 bnet.com

Pay only goes so far. Higher salaries are like the bigger house syndrome: Move into a bigger house and initially it feels roomier, but after awhile larger becomes the new normal.

Employees don’t automatically perform at higher levels if wages are higher because commitment, dedication, and motivation are not based on pay. No matter how high the salary, if you treat employees poorly they won’t care — about their jobs or your business.
Here are eight reasons employees don’t care:

1. No freedom. Best practices are definitely important, but not every task deserves a best practice or micro-managed approach. Autonomy breeds engagement and satisfaction. Autonomy also breeds innovation. Even manufacturing and heavily process-oriented positions have room for different approaches or paths. Decide which process battles are worth fighting; otherwise, let employees have some amount of freedom to work they way they work best.
2. No targets. Goals are fun. (I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t at least a little bit competitive.) Targets create a sense of purpose and add meaning to even the most repetitive tasks. Without a goal to shoot for, work is just work.
3. No sense of mission. We all like to feel a part of something bigger. Striving to be worthy of words like “best” or “largest” or “fastest” or “highest quality” provides a sense of purpose. Let employees know what you want the business to achieve; how can they care about your dreams if they don’t know your dreams?
4. No clear expectations. While every job should include decision-making latitude, every job also has basic expectations regarding the way certain situations should be handled. Criticize an employee for providing a refund today even though last week refunds were standard procedure and you’ve lost the employee. (How can I do a good job when I don’t know what doing a good job means?) When standards change, always communicate those changes first — then stick with them. And when you don’t, explain why this particular situation is different.
5. No input. Everyone wants to be smart. How do I show I’m smart? By offering suggestions and ideas. (Otherwise no matter how hard I work I just feel like a robot.) Deny me the opportunity to make suggestions, or shoot my suggestions down without consideration, and I’m just a robot — and robots don’t care. Make it easy for employees to present ideas and when an idea doesn’t have merit take the time to explain why. You can’t implement every idea, but you can make employees feel good every time they make a suggestion.
6. No connection. The company provides the paycheck, but employees work for people. A kind word, a short discussion about family, a brief check-in to see if they need anything… person-to-person moments are much more important than meetings or formal evaluations. Employees want to be seen as people, not numbers. Numbers don’t care. People care — especially when you care about them first.
7. No consistency. Most employees can deal with a boss who is demanding and quick to criticize… as long as she treats every employee the same way. (Think of it as the Vince Lombardi effect.) While it’s okay — in fact necessary — to treat employees differently, all employees must be treated fairly. Similar achievements should result in similar praise and rewards. Similar offenses should result in similar disciplinary actions. The key to maintaining consistency is to communicate; the more employees understand why a decision was made, the less likely they are to assume favoritism or unfair treatment.
8. No future. Every job should have the potential to lead to something better, either within or outside the company. I worked my way through college at a manufacturing plant. I had no future with the company because everyone understood I would only stay until I graduated. One day my boss said, “Hey, let me show you how we set up the job scheduling board.” I looked at him oddly; why show me instead of someone else? In response he said, “Some day, somewhere, you’ll be in charge of production. Might as well start learning now.” Take the time to develop employees for jobs they hope to fill — even if those positions are outside your company. They will care about your business because they know you care about them.

Nine Do's and Don'ts for Dealing with the Disgruntled

By Rosabeth Moss Kanter

In a volatile world, anxiety and uncertainty make people a little testy. Cranky people can drag everyone else down by spreading negativity and sowing seeds of doubt just when leaders need commitment. And when everyday crankiness is exacerbated by performance problems, then the merely grumpy can become disgruntled former employees out to do damage to the team.
Early in my career, when sharing a vacation house with a group of friends, I learned an important lesson from a classic book by anthropologist Mary Douglas, Purity and Danger: It takes a lot of people cooperating to keep things neat, but it takes only one disgruntled dirt-monger to mess things up. The task for everyone else is not to let them.
This has become a favorite management insight as I advise bosses and boards. In one recent case, the chief financial officer of a small company was fired for possible expense account violations, and he was also seen as a poor strategist and weak team player. The former CFO did not go quietly. He consulted a lawyer, then went to a second and a third when the first one said he didn't have a case. He rallied friends who sent emails to prominent customers about his grievance. Meanwhile, the CEO and new CFO had to raise capital and revenues to make up for the shortfall, which the disgruntled former CFO blamed on everyone else. His loud voice and tale of mistreatment threatened to topple the entire enterprise.
When faced with cranky, grumpy, or disgruntled people, these Do's and Don'ts can be helpful.

1. Don't give them power. Don't let their claims occupy disproportionate time and management attention. Have one person manage so that everyone else can continue the real work.
2. Do keep telling your positive story about the organization's purpose, mission, goals, and accomplishments. Remind everyone about the big picture.
3. Don't adopt an angry tone. Stay calm and professional. Don't stoop to their level by telling juicy stories. Recent studies show that badmouthing makes the tale-teller look bad, in a boomerang effect.
4. Don't tell their story for them. Don't start meetings or conversations by rehashing the situation. Stick to a simple statement or two that acknowledges your sorrow that there are complaints. Don't sound defensive. Don't lend credibility by providing your answers to things that audiences might not know or care about.
5. Don't assume that being right is enough. Having the facts on your side might be enough in a court of law, but it is not necessarily enough in the court of public opinion. Other people are convinced by your actions. They need to see that you operate by principles. They will judge your authenticity and consistency.
6. Do make a small gesture, even if you don't have to. Anyway, maybe you're not 100% right. A slight concession can make you look gracious and understanding. The disgruntled person can claim to have won something, which makes it easier to get him or her to go away. Make your limits clear.
7. Do respond to rumors immediately. Don't let slurs stand without a response that is accurate, persuasive, and catchy. And put out the counter-story without repeating the insult.
8. Do inform your allies early and often. Arm them with facts and details. Seek their support.
9. Do keep moving ahead. Don't stop the action. Develop and announce exciting plans. Help everyone envision the future.

Above all, do what's right for the mission and stakeholders. Even in a volatile world that requires tough decisions, the best way to counter crankiness is through an inspiring, energizing purpose.

Rosabeth Moss Kanter is a professor at Harvard Business School and the
author of Confidence and SuperCorp. Connect with her
on Facebook or at Twitter.com/RosabethKanter.

How to Manage a Disgruntled Employee

By Kimberly Weisul | September 13, 2011 Bnet.com

      

In a recent post, I cited a survey from the Corporate Executive Board that showed that 75% of people who leave their jobs are disgruntled when they do so. Given that recent Bureau of Labor Statistics figures show that, in fact, record numbers of people are leaving their jobs, that’s a lot of unhappy, grumpy people.
Not that I necessarily blame them. But what happens when one of your people-maybe even an employee that you’ve tried hard to keep happy- leaves on a sour note? Writing for the Harvard Business Review, Rosabeth Moss Kanter gives a list of nine “Do’s” and “Don’t’s” for dealing with disgruntled former employees, sales pros, or even partnerships gone bad. Her focus is on protecting the corporate reputation, but some of her advice may be helpful in more personal disputes, too. Specifically:

1. Keep telling the positive story of your group’s accomplishments. Don’t give the disgruntled person free air time by repeating their complaints. If you think he or she have a valid point, then of course there may be value in flagging that concerns to higher-ups within your company. But there’s no point in spreading complaints to the world at large.
2. Don’t retaliate. Stick to the higher ground, even if the other person is spreading nasty gossip. It’s way too easy for you to come off sounding defensive, and Kanter says that recent research shows that spreading negative gossip makes the teller-not the target of the gossip-look bad.
3. You’re right? That isn’t enough. This goes to the second point, above. Simply being right is not going to convince anyone. It’s your actions that matter, so especially under stress, you’ve got to act in accordance with the highest principles. (Like you always do, right?)
4. Maybe you’re wrong. Few situations are black-and-white. If you’ve done something wrong, admit it. Make a concession. Make it clear that you’re not going to be walked over, but don’t be the person who refuses to even have a phone call with their adversary.
5. Respond to rumors right away. And make sure your allies have all the information they need to be persuasive on your behalf.
6. Keep moving forward. Don’t get bogged down in petty politics. Give people something else to talk about–like how well you and your team are doing despite the fact that you’ve got an opening to fill.

Disgruntled–but maybe they have a point
There’s another side to all of this, of course, and I’d be interested to hear about any recent research on the topic. Quite often, disgruntled people are unhappy for a darn good reason. Often, it’s because managers are blind to what’s going on within their own teams.
If that’s the case, this advice might make for good damage control, while missing a larger point. Maybe this grumpy person has something valuable to teach everyone. Maybe he or she knows something the rest of the team doesn’t. Given that so few people tell the whole truth in exit interviews, what’s the best way to learn from a cranky co-worker-even after they’re out the door?